Episode 44: Carnivores Versus Herbivores

So we were in the car on our way to a lake or some such summery place, and we passed a field in which some cows were grazing. My son looked out at them and asked, “Do cows eat other cows?” “No,” I replied, “cows are herbivores.” With those few words, I sealed my fate for the rest of the drive.

“What are herbivores?”

“Herbivores are animals that only eat plants and grass and such.”

“Do cows eat grass?”

“Yes, because they are herbivores.”

“What do tigers eat?”

“Tigers eat meat, so they are carnivores.”

“What are carnivores?”

“Carnivores are animals that eat meat.”

“What’s meat?”

“Hey, is that another cow?”

“Do cows eat meat?”

“No, cows are herbivores, so they only eat plants and grass.”

“Do tigers eat cows?”

“Probably not, tigers probably eat mostly smaller animals.”

“What kind of animals?”

“Probably herbivores.”

“What are herbivores.”

“Animals that eat plants and such, just like cows.”

“Do tigers eat grass?”

This went on for some time, but I am quite sure I wasn’t sure whether cows ate tigers or grass by the end of it.  In any case, it made me wonder who would win in a big gangland-style brawl between herbivores and carnivores. Sure, the carnivores have sharper teeth and worse attitudes, but there are some pretty big herbivores.

Speaking of big things and eating, did you know the biggest chocolate heart weighed 7 tons? The largest pizza was just over 122 feet in diameter. The largest Pierogi weighed 93 pounds. And just what is a Pierogi? Well, the experts at Wikipedia tell me it is some sort of Slavic dumpling-type creation stuffed with “varying” ingredients, I guess that makes the recipe pretty simple:

1.       Make Slavic dumpling-type thing.

2.       Stuff dumpling-type thing with whatever you can find around the kitchen.

3.       …(I didn’t get any further with the Wikipedia experts, but I assume you cook them somehow, or maybe not, but eventually you eat them…maybe.)

In any case, I wonder what the makers of these gigantic food items do with them. Maybe they use them for school lunches and such, which brings us no closer to who would win between carnivores and herbivores. I am open to hearing arguments from both sides before I make my final hypothesis.